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"What
are the options?"
"I can connect you to Solomon's
Deli, or to our
parent company: "Eternity Cafe and Gifts", or
the
new "Dial-A-Prayer" Hotline."
"Could you pick one for me,
please?"
"One moment...."
Hello, and thank you for calling the
house of Jehovah. The Almighty Creator is not able to speak with you
at the moment, but he will return your call at his earliest
convenience. Please stay on the line, and one of our friendly angels will assist you.
..................................... All of our angels are busy
helping other clients at the present time. Your call will be
answered in the order that it was received.
Now serving:
................. Please hold. ................ All
of our lines are busy.
If you are using a touch-tone phone; -
Press "1" for prayer requests. -
Press "2" for thanksgiving. -
Press "3" for complaints, which automatically
links
you to your home telephone.

- Press "4" for all other inquiries
........................................... If
you have questions about salvation, or would like to make reservations at "Eternity Cafe
and Gifts", press the letters J-O-H-N,
followed by the numbers 3, 1, and 6. It's a
toll-free call.
For answers about dinosaurs, the expanding universe, the end of time, DNA development, or what those gooey Easter "Peeps" are made of, God
will respond to you personally at his convenience.
When you have completed your message, please enter Jesus' personal line number * 1, which routes your message "express
courier" to the Father.
Anyone who knows the "Phrase that pays", receives
a FREE GIFT! Last week's winner was Larry with "Jesus is my Lord and
Savior". Yesterday's winner was Megan with "Jesus is my
Lord and Savior".
CAN YOU ANSWER TODAY'S "PHRASE THAT
PAYS"?
Please leave your name and winning answer at the sound of the beep.....

Thank you for calling the house of Jehovah. The Almighty Creator
will return your call at the earliest possible convenience.
Have a nice day. Call often!
Editor's Note:
Fortunately, our prayer line is more personal and
less complicated than an answering machine! God hears ALL of our prayers,
and makes sure that everyone who has answered the "Phrase that
pays" correctly (and applies it to their lives), has a reserved table waiting for them at his banquet
feast! (appetizers and a trip to the salad bar included).
Click Here For Additional Phone Number
References
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